Is there any activity on this blog anymore?

Where has the time gone?

My Baby is Three Months Old!!!

After two years, three miscarriages, 40 weeks and 5 days we were blessed with our "miracle" - Maylah Grace was born on June 28, 2010. She just turned three months old and we can hardly believe it. I am on maternity leave now.

Now in Week 38!

I am due June 23rd. I always envisioned this baby being early and fast, now that I am 37 weeks I cannot stop wondering when and how will her birth transpire!?

We have been struggling with B2 and his rough adjustment to life in a bunk bed with his big brother. Everything seems fine until once, twice, three times (and more - 6 times between 1 and 6 one night!) he gets out of bed. He is CRANKY! He complains about his tummy hurting and insists he cannot sleep. Wants me and wants his OWN WAY!! This is not easy to handle at the best of times, never mind being in the last weeks of pregnancy!

Hopefully this will work itself out soon. Or, perhaps this little one will be such a great sleeper that I will actually start sleeping through the night soon. Ha!!

Can I start counting in days yet?

Five weeks to go! I am literally a house - well, at least a mid-sized trailer. With a due date of June 23rd I am growing weary at people asking - "any day now?"

When can I start counting in days? I say now.

37 days

(... and counting!)

Love Me

Love Me by JJ Heller - check out this amazing song. One of my students wrote about it on her exam. Powerful stuff! You can also see this LINK TO LYRICS for the words.

Being Mother/Being Academic

I am struggling with writing this paper. It is not that I have nothing to say about being an academic or about being a mother! Rather, I find myself unwilling to commit even in draft form to my take on it as I feel I am currently occupying the / space between - neither wholly doing motherhood, nor my academic position the best (or even close to) that I can. Perhaps this has something to do with being in the third trimester and wondering what it will be like to have another baby in our house, or maybe it has more to do with the end of term and the exhaustion that comes with it. Regardless, I find myself having so much difficulty just 'doing' what it is that makes me both - being with my kids, being with my students/colleagues; playing and having fun, writing and teaching etc.

In theory it seems so much easier to find a balance between these roles than it is in practice. I am so drawn back home when I am at work, yet wonder whether a part of me will be missing when I am only at home. At the same time, I find my thoughts drift to things at work I have not done when I should be simply enjoying time with my kids. Is this uncertainty that I am doing the right thing the consistency that I can expect as I try to negotiate being both a mother and an academic AT THE SAME TIME?!

A balance? I think not!