Who are you outside this classroom?

I asked my students, "who are you outside this classroom?" Can of worms... opened! They shared revealing and heart wrenching stories about loss, friendship, family, disease, addiction, recovery, war, family violence, pets etc. In theory, there is continuing/consistency and fluidity in "who and what I am," although today the practice was a lot harder than I expected. Telling little anecdotes are one thing, what to do when students give me and their classmates a more deep window into their lives - quite another?

B1 waits patiently for dessert

Hold and Fold!

B2 Turns 3! (a couple weeks ago)

Mother Guilt... If only

I had evaluated the evidence - the specimens included two male children, one man and one woman. Health status? 30 something man who is in the best shape of his life, the picture of health. Check. The oldest child, nose runny? No. Cough? No. Check. Me, well, haven't been at 'optimal' lately (ever?), but I waited until the cold and sore throat over three weeks ago that had kept me away had passed. Check, I had recovered. The little one, his cold started right after mine weeks ago. I had assessed the status of his health as better. Unfortunately, mother quilt kicks in when we are at friends' visiting their brand new, beautiful, one month old daughter and B2 starts coughing!! Not related, but I have to pass off the little sweetie to her mother because I get something in my throat that takes me into a coughing episode. Check? I had even drenched everyone's hands in sanitizer before entering baby zone.

This experience - or the questioning of it - makes me think back to a time when my children were exposed to stomach flu from another family and how horrible I felt. If only they had said something? If only I had been more vigilant? If only... If only... a refrain for new mothers. With a 5 year old and a 3 year old I wonder if I have eked out of that category or not!

To all those new mothers, we have been there.

Getting Along (Again)

Here is the mothering strategy list I mentioned in a previous post:

Be Polite
Be Respectful
Be Thoughtful
Be Friendly
Be Cooperative
Be Generous
Be Kind
Be Honest
Be Helpful
Be Cheerful

Of course, our modeling of politeness, respectfulness and thoughtfulness; friendly, cooperative, generous and kind actions, routine honesty and helpfulness should be enough?! If all that fails at least we are always, ALWAYS cheerful, right?

In all seriousness, I think as adults we continually struggle with the 'golden rule' of treating others how we wish to be treated. Hopefully I can instill in my boys the quest to live up to these (seemingly easy) prescriptions!

"I go away for a week and I get this reception... you get it everyday!"

DOAD is finally back! The title line is his!! The boys are really excited, "Watch this trick, Ok Dad?" It is so great to have my partner in parenting back where he belongs. While I missed him incredibly and am so happy to have someone else to share the responsibilities and day to day of raising two little boys with, I feel really good about being able to do it on my own. I really thoroughly enjoyed being the sole one the boys counted on for everything this past week. Don't get me wrong... there were times it drove me crazy.

Went running with a friend of mine today and shared some thoughts and frustrations about the challenges of encouraging them while at the same time respecting their limits (i.e. the things that get me 'crazy'). More on this soon...

Getting Along

Do you ever wonder, why can't my kids just get along?! Me neither! Of course I do, hence the reason for this post. I think (I hope) I have found a new strategy that will if not change behaviour at least keep me more sane, as I navigate the role of advisor, referee, confidant between two male siblings (ages 5 and 3). I bought a chart with 10 key getting along "dos." My new strategy? Instead of "boys, stop X, or do Y," I plan to ask a question, "Is that (said behaviour in question) polite, or cheerful, or respectful or whatever the particular getting along maxim that appears to be breeched. Then, as the retorical 'no' goes stated or not. I will encourage them to ask themselves, "How could I be ... ?" I posted this chart in my kitchen (at least until DOAD gets home tomorrow!)