Can't Rest on Laurels

B1 is playing with B2 - dinosaur adventures (or what they call "Prehistoric Park") and I hear, "We can't rest on laurels."

Indeed, I am definitely sure my youngest understood his big brother to mean "to rely on past achievements, status or reputation!" Too cute!

Ever heard of Walking with Dinosaurs? I know this phrase is one Nigel Marven uses on the Prehistoric Park BBC video they LOVE LOVE LOVE! It's incredible how much they (especially B1) takes out of these. For anyone with young kids who are interested in dinosaurs, check out Nigel Marven's official site.

Anyone interested in participating in the Mothering Contexts Study and sharing little gems like this (and not so precious ones) please do!

My Baby Turns 6 on Sunday

July 5th 2003 was a very special day. I don't remember it the same way I recall the rushed entrance of my youngest, but I could never forget the night I lay awake in the hospital bed across from this magnificent little creature (whose pinky, bruised head I could not even see) my son. The first year was amazing. Here are a few highlights:
1) he slept through the night (8+ hours) at two months
2) he ate solid foods at 4 1/2 months
3) he walked at 9 months
4) he talked clearly in articulate, complex sentences at 21 months
5) his smile has always been, and remains angelic

Since then age 1 through 5 are almost a blur now, they went by so quickly it seems... his brother was born when he was about 28 months old (another STORY!!); he spent 13 months home full-time with me on maternity leave; he went to pre-school, swimming lessons, soccer, hockey, and just recently completed Kindergarten.

My first born now wants to "be a paleontologist, get a PhD in Zoology, and be an artist" when he gets older. He loves me more than anything and continually shares the most thoughtful, caring and kind compliments and admiration (Why am I so lucky?). He teaches me something every day; both facts about dinosaurs and little gems about the world through his eyes.

He is a wonder, a caring old soul, a piece of heaven, a truly amazing child whose smile can melt your heart. His sincere, compassionate nature is rare. I can only beam with pride that I had anything to do with that!

"Happy Birthday, Sweetheart. Like I have told you before, July 5th marks one extremely special day, an incomparable day - that day I became a mother. For six years now I have been Your Mom.

Love,
Mom"

soak up the sun

Remember Sheryl Crow's 2002 song, "Soak Up the Sun?" Today on my long run (yes, it was sunny) I was thinking about a line in it. Below I have pasted the lyrics
(from http://www.elyrics.net/song/s/sheryl-crow-lyrics.html) Which line do you think it was?

My friend the communist
Holds meetings in his RV
I can't afford his gas
So I'm stuck here watching TV
I don't have digital
I don't have diddly squat
It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

[CHORUS:]
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell 'em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up o I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna soak up the sun
I've got a crummy job
It don't pay near enough
To buy the things it takes
To win me some of your love
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe i am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
While it's still free
I'm gonna soak up the sun
Before it goes out on me
Don't have no master suite
I'm still the king of me
You have a fancy ride, but baby
I'm the one who has the key
Every time I turn around
I'm looking up, you're looking down
Maybe something's wrong with you
That makes you act the way you do
Maybe I am crazy too

[CHORUS]

I'm gonna soak up the sun
Got my 45 on
So I can rock on.

It's not having what you want
It's wanting what you've got

I had an incredible conversation with DOAD last night about our hopes, needs, wants and ways to make these become realities.

Is this merely a trite colloquialism? Something from some radio tune without much meaning? At first blush, sure the phrase can be read as "be satisfied," "don't assume what you don't have is somehow better than what you do." On further reflection, however, perhaps part of what strikes such a chord with me is the either/or. Can't it be wanting what you have AND having what you want?

I sure LOVE what I have. To the extent, though, that I "want what I have," can't I also have what I want (say, additional 'things' in the future)? This kind of quest for me is not a longing or desire to fill a gap from my current existence. Instead, it is about coming to recognize all that is possible with what I have. In this way, the working toward is not in opposition to what IS today, but intimately connected to what is present in the here and now.

OK, I'll admit maybe this is all a little too deep a reading for a song called "soak up the sun!" I really wonder, still, about this interplay between present and future.

I finally (seem to have) figured out how not to dwell in the past and how not to project everything onto tomorrow. Yet, navigating the subtle (and not so gentle) blending of what is 'here and now' and what goals, hopes, aspirations I have that extend into 'tomorrow and beyond' is somewhat trickier.

All I know for sure is that life with DOAD - a partnership that has facilitated, encouraged, nurtured, supported and in so many other ways contoured my mothering journey, my career and my sense of self and efficacy in the world - is exactly what I need and want, for today and tomorrow.

Holiday Weekend

If you haven't already done so, please check out the Mothering Contexts Study


Here are some pictures of B1 and B2 at the Lake. We did a quick trip to the Okanagan Valley (British Columbia, Canada) this past weekend. The boys LOVED playing in and about the water. As their mom, I know I am biased, but aren't they beautiful?!



Anyone else glad it's summer?

Running as a Metaphor for Mothering

I have been engaged in this research project – Mothering Contexts Study– for about one month – soliciting mothers’ participation and doing in-depth interviews. Another activity that has taken up much of my time is running. I am training to complete the fifth leg of the Canadian Death Race (August 1 and 2, 2009 in Grande Cache, Alberta). Several weeks ago I admitted to one of my friends that I am starting to see myself as a “runner,” not simply someone who runs, or ‘just’ jogs. She agreed! Until this morning’s run, though, running and mothering were two separate activities, at least in my head. While I have a jogger (which we call “the running stroller!”), that I have pushed my kids in running behind for years, I still didn’t see the two things as related very much indirectly, never mind directly. While on a 15 km run this morning (scratch that – MY 15 km run), it became very clear to me how very much running is intertwined in my mothering life – and I think, vice versa. In both I surprise myself at how much I am able to do, how much I get out of both running and mothering and overall how each has changed me as a person.

35 Ways Running is like Mothering

~Like running, mothering …
• takes a while to find your stride
• is about time management
• is on the course training
• makes you sweat
• wipes you out
• requires that you ‘breathe’
• is easier with a friend
• is better with a warm-up and cool-down
• has risks and rewards
• is about making time
• requires energy (sometimes more than we have)
• appears easier than it is
• is about stages, phases, and events
• can cause pain
• requires planning
• requires flexibility
• can be done with and without technical assistance and expert knowledge
• is sometimes plodding along, sometimes breakneck speed
• is empowering
• is all encompassing
• is accompanied by an amazing, incomparable feeling that can only be
understood if you’ve felt it (like a runner’s high – a Mom’s high!)
• is not about getting to the finish line
• is always about more than just you
• carries over into other areas of your life
• gives you more than it takes from you
• offers opportunities for personal fulfillment and growth
• is a psychological, bodily, social, and spiritual experience
• offers life lessons
• challenges more than our body
• engages and inspires those who are willing to be open to the possibilities
• provides moments of brilliance and darkness
• looks different depending on who’s doing it
• brings true happiness
• is soul work – love

Thank you my friends

Having 54 surveys already completed, I wanted to say thank you to my friends, blog followers and all the mothers who have graciously participated in my study. I thoroughly appreciate your input!!

I didn't do it!

Picture was too cute to resist! I feel a little behind in my blogging. Just returned home from a conference in NYC, where my Mom joined me. What a fabulous and amazing experience to share this past weekend with her. THANKS, MOM!

We have hit a milestone. The Mothering Contexts Study has been on-line for four weeks (tomorrow) and 50 mothers have completed the survey. Thanks to everyone who has taken the time and energy to share some of their story. If you want to participate in a telephone interview, please email me at minakerj@macewan.ca