Hope

Hope is a belief, not a thought. Hope is believing in a positive outcome related to events and circumstances in one's life. It is feeling like what we want we can have. It is the feeling that things will turn out for the best. Hope is sometimes wishing for something or someone.

Hopefulness is sometimes confused with optimism, which is actually a 'mind' state, not a 'feeling' state. Hope is emotional whereas optimism is intellectual. Optimism involves reaching a conclusion after deliberate thoughts that bring about positive attitudes (according to Wikepedia anyway!).

When we are confronted with things we cannot control, we can attempt to think and think and think about it, but that changes nothing - cannot alter whatever outcome is to come. As a mom, this is very difficult to accept. For me, anyway, I want to direct, and orchastrate as much as possible. Yet, when the uncertain becomes our certainty, is it possible to give in to hope and the faith that what we will will be and that is what is the result we actually need?

Hoping...

Post Christmas - Revisiting Memories

My kids thoroughly enjoyed our special Christmas morning, which didn't end until around 1 pm. Unlike when I was a child if either one of them wanted to open the packaging and play with a new toy, we said, "sure." I recall growing up Christmas gift unwrapping was very organized; not quite militaristic, but almost. My younger brother and I were given the task of assembling a pile in front of each party with their gifts (which included my Dad, Mom, Grandpa, Nana, my brother and me). Once the gifts were properly in place the adults began, beginning with the oldest. One after the other, followed by a thank-you and a hug. Finally, it was our turn. We alternated. No sooner was the item visible and I recall the other person being told to start opening. There was no time for discovering the ins and outs of the gift; that would have to be saved for later. Once the festivities were complete (approximately 1-2 hours later) my Mom and Grandpa began to cook breakfast (which was always delicious). Here I would start to place the gifts under the tree to admire all our good fortune. Within minutes, though, I would be asked to take my gifts up to my room. Later than day other than the tree still standing there would be no evidence of what went on there that morning. I have no resentment. Rather, just a strong reason for wanting something else for my own family.

I remember wanting to explore, to pause, to play and now want to give my children that opportunity. So, Christmas morning was a relaxed process of gift opening and playing, hugs and kisses, memories made. We stopped and had breakfast after the kids examined what Santa had left. Once all the kids' gifts were opened it was our turn! I will admit that they paid far more attention to their new favorite things than their Mom and Dad opening their gifts. Really, what else would you expect (or want) for 3 and 5 year old boys?

What great memories! So, while some things like new underwear and clothing we have already worn made their way upstairs over the past couple of days, there remains much evidence of Christmas morning - from stickers and games to books and toys. Some are under the tree, while others are being played with right now! "Would you read this book to me please, Mom," B1 asks. How can I say no?

Baby strollers - from obvious purchase to desparate need

Can you imagine not being able to afford a baby stroller? Now consider it being winter, -25 degrees C and attempting to lug your babe through the snow over your shoulder. This is a reality for far too many young moms in Edmonton, Alberta Canada. See Lack of wheels stalls mobility

I organized my book club - full of generous mothers who all made the obvious purchase of a stroller for their own children over the past 5 years - to get involved donating strollers to young moms in desperate need.

Are there other ways to help?

Can we talk about that at breakfast tomorrow?

Mom, B1 says to me as I am tucking him in for bed this evening, "When people pass away and grow, is it always the same Santa Claus?"

"That is an excellent, smart question, you've asked, " I reply. "Can we talk about that at breakfast tomorrow?"

Luckily, he said YES.

Embrace

Embrace

What does it mean to embrace?

To embrace a child, a spouse, a friend
To embrace an idea, a thought, a viewpoint?

[From the French "embracer," en- + brace pair of arms — more at brace. I like the metaphor of arms around, encircling something one loves.]

To cherish a child, a spouse, a friend
Hug

To welcome
To take part in
Be part of

... something larger than ourselves!

"You are the best Mama I Ever Had"

B2 has taken to letting me know how much I mean to him, by saying, "you are the best Mama I ever had!" How sweet, right? Darling, indeed.

More recently, I have been hearing, "You are the best Koala I ever had" (he told the new webkins he received from Santa at his pre-school Christmas party)... " "You are the best Teacher I ever had" (to his pre-school teacher)... "This is the best bed I ever had" (one night last week he told me)... and "This is my best coat. It is the best coat I ever had!"

Patience

It has always bothered me when people say, "calm down." This seems to fit here, as I write about patience. What does it mean to have patience? Patience with our children; patience with ourselves. Perhaps patience is not the ability to withstand the wait, but the acknowledgment that now is not waiting for something later, but now is where we are at. I don't mean NOW in the Eckhart Tolle sense of the maxim, but now in the present sense of what processes are occurring for us in our more immediate frame of reference.

This is very difficult for a (reformed) perfectionist, a mother of two boys under 6 years, tenured professor and (wanna-be) marathon runner to grasp.

One dictionary I consulted had the word 'calm' as a synonym for patience. Not something I am routinely characterized by friends or family, yet something with which I do hope I can self identify. If calm is something to strive for, a quest for tranquility (i.e. found in a hour alone in the shower, a day at the spa, a run, a coffee with a friend), then it may not be now, but later (and for many moms - much, much later) where we find it.

What if calm is to be found in moments - immediate ones and future ones. Moments we take to decompress, to have our own "time outs," to reflect on the past or to look fondly on some future.

Perhaps patience is not so much the willingness to wait, but the acceptance in where we are. Sometimes we are moving so fast we forget that in search of something else or something later we may be missing the rewarding, "calm" moments given to us now.

I am reminded of the present as gift common truism. What if each moment (even when water is everywhere it is not supposed to be at bath time) really was "for" us, as if wrapped and placed carefully under our Christmas tree? What am I making of this moment? Regardless, the others are sure to follow.

Grow

Nature
To nurture
To nourish
To tend to
Cultivate-
Potential

Mothers grow.
Mothers are grown.

Seeds we sow. Seeds we need
To nourish
...Ourselves
To nurture
... Our bodies
Sustain Souls

Natural process
Nature's way
Expand
Evolve
Explain?

Development.
Maturity.
Blossom.

Mothers who thrive -
To thrive in motherhood
Mothers and children who grow together
Children who nurture their mothers

Spring up.... way up
Raise. Raise kids.
To come into existence - to sprout, like a seed
To allow growth, To allow

Grow into
Grow out of
Grow up

To become
Believe.