If you could "crack that code" a few posts back I mentioned something about not being ready to share an important piece of information. I wish this was the post to pass on some delightful news. Unfortunately, it becomes the plea for support, advice and solace because I discovered today at my early dates ultrasound that my 11 week pregnancy has miscarried!
I am devastated and hope other mothers will share with me their stories and how they have handled dealing with the loss of a baby. My body, though, still thinks I am pregnant and although I am told the fetus lost its heart beat at 7 weeks, here I am "otherwise assumed pregnant." Had I not gone today nothing would have seemed wrong. So what now? I am told to wait one week to 10 days and hopefully my body will expel everything naturally. I had a pregnancy test only Tuesday which indicated a high level of hormone, so it all seems so unreal! Another option I have is drugs to induce the process or ultimately a D and C. This baby was/is so loved. My four year old has been so patient waiting until I gave him the go ahead to share "our little secret."
I have two beautiful boys, whom I love more than life itself. How can I still be the Mom I should be for them without being consumed with sadness, guilt, confusion and despair?
Please share your story...
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2 comments:
It's okay for your boys to learn that sometimes people need to grieve. My sister had a stillborn daughter at 32 weeks exactly two years ago, and for the month or so afterwards I would periodically tear up and cry. My then two and a half year old would ask why and we'd simply explain: Mama's sad because baby Mackenzie died. I don't think that we do kids favors by hiding these things. And their loving attempts at understanding are healing, too ...
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me. We have yet to discuss this with our children. Any more advice? Did your sister have other children and how did she handle it?
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