I seem to have these moments where there is a glimmer of my former self. It goes away, quickly. Then, I feel like I am being hit by a truck - I am reminded of what happened, of what is happening. I move on. I seem to go through some routine motions. I am back at work. I am laughing with friends. I am enjoying my two beautiful sons. Yet, all the while I am thinking about, or feeling this missing part. It haunts me. DOD is so understanding, but at the same time how much can I expect. The process of grief seems so different for each of us. I can't even take my maternity clothes out of my closet.
It is so odd I feel far removed, yet more inside myself than ever before. I feel connected with some power outside myself, yet isolated at once. Is this the "new normal" I keep hearing about? Perhaps this intermediary zone is where I am now, not where I was before but not quite where I am going to end up.
Indeed, (see previous post) I am not at the end.
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1 comment:
One day at at time. I am here for you as you try to navigate this 'new normal' and your grieving. love, c.
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