Adversity and/or Opportunity

I received a gift on my recent birthday from a couple of friends, Robin Sharma's Daily Inspiration (from the Monk Who Sold His Ferrari). The excerpt for my birthday is as follows:

The most joyful, dynamic and contented people in this world are no different from you or me in terms of their makeup. We are all flesh and bones. We all come from the same universal source. However, the ones who do more than just exist, the ones who fan the flames of their human potential and truly savour the magical dance of life, do different things than those whose lives are ordinary. Foremost among the things that they do is adopt a positive paradigm about their world and all that is in it. Where others see adversity, they see opportunity (2007, January 22 entry, no page).

Makes me think...

Is it simply that I choose how these natal experiences will affect me, impact me, define me? Is it really a case that my positive paradigm can someone transform this adverse experience that has happened to me into an opportunity to become something more, someone greater than I was before?

A friend asked me recently, "How are you feeling now?" A seemingly simple question to which I really had no reply. She queried further, "Are you stunned?" "Yes, I am stunned." What did I mean by this? I think that I am both shocked and amazed - shocked that this has happened (three times, no charm) and amazed at how incredibly normal everything else seems. I am amazed that I haven't fallen apart. My friend continued, "You know, had you not tried for a third you would not have gone through any of this." This observation is loaded with meaning. It suggests to me that there is much in this to learn from, to grow from, to understand, to appreciate? To return to the Sharma quotation, "where others see adversity, they see opportunity," and ponder this for a moment... (and I welcome others interpretations)

My students can tell you that I resist and challenge dichotomous thinking (it is up or down, right or wrong, truth or falsehood etc.). I don't think in this case it is a matter of either adversity or opportunity. If I think this is an opportunity I deny the reality of the pain, frustration, and sadness associated with
losing another baby. Yet, if I think of this as an adverse event I then close off any possibilities to learn, grow, or use this experience in my life to take ownership and control over the situation. Rather, I am trying to view this whole thing as neither bad nor good, but as BOTH adversity and opportunity. In other words, it is not a question of closure or opening, but rather a closure IS an opening.

Hey, I wouldn't have enjoyed that glass of red wine last night had I been expecting! I wouldn't have enjoyed running (and stopping to walk!) this morning had I been expecting! I wouldn't be wearing such tight jeans (hhm... )

In all seriousness, I wouldn't have been able to truly appreciate why I want to have another turn at pregnancy and motherhood (that is a post for another time!).