150 Surveys Completed

(this photo is courtesy of B1, my budding 'wildlife' photographer!... this was taken at an event called Yoga in the Park and he had grown tired of yoga poses!)

Thank you
Thanks
Thanks so much
No really - THANKS A LOT!

to all the mothers who have participated in the Mothering Contexts Study. I have reached my interim goal of 150 surveys. At this point I am ready to start reading each woman's responses more systematically and analyzing! This is really very exciting for me. The project began less than 5 short months ago. I was initially looking for 300 in one year, but the response has been overwhelming. Please continue to pass along the link so other moms you know may be included here.

There are 12 additional participants who have saved a survey. At your convenience I would really appreciate you completing it so that your experiences can be included in this research project.

The 150th survey brought me to tears (how's that for professional?). It is all personal, anyway. It is both my professional and personal obligation to share your stories and to illuminate what we share as mothers and where our points of view, circumstances and choices diverge.

Thanks to you all. Much love and thanks to KSTAR, my friend, running buddy and fellow Dr. Mama, for all our casual conversations which stimulate and inspire me in my mothering work (the research, the theory and definitely the practice!)

I Need to Do This Work

I read and review the words of participants in the Mothering Contexts Study often. I am waiting until there are 150 completed before beginning my first analysis (6 more!).

After reading about another mother's adventures in mothering I am reminded that as mothering is a context, so too is childhood - only the latter is more temporal; it ends. When we are in the thick of it mothering our children it can get very overwhelming (to say the least), but I believe we owe it to ourselves and to our children to recognize the gifts we have in them and the gifts we can give them.

Some of us provide our children with the role model we wish we had.
Some of us strive to live up to the way we were mothered.
Some of us struggle more than others with meeting our children's physical, basic needs.
Some of us struggle more than others with meeting our children's emotional needs.
Some of us live with regret, sadness, shame and fear.
Some of us have been given second chances.
Some of us have more.
Some of us have less.
Some of us have caring communities to share the work of mothering.

But, all of us are mothers, each of us giving this journey our own creative style and understanding our roles in unique and inspiring ways.

I need to do this work.

There are stories that need to be shared, more broadly.
There are concerns that need to be validated, more politically.
There are issues that need to be taken seriously.

So, after wiping a tear from my eye, I will shift gears to complete other work that must be done.

Guide: 9 More to Go!

I had an amazing interview this afternoon with a remarkable mom. I just read another amazing interview from one participant who completed the on-line survey. They shared the theme of GUIDE.

It's amazing how significant our guidance - both direct and indirect - is in our mothering. I think it is important not only for our children who benefit from the things we teach them, but for our sense of self as mothers and as women.

I recognize that I will not always be able to control where I guide my sons, but I know that (at least for now) they look closely to me to guide them as they navigate their little social worlds; B1 primarily in his Grade One Classroom and B2 at pre-school and within their emerging peer networks.

I hope that when my sons are 10 or 19 they too want to sit on my lap!

Only 9 more surveys to complete to get to 150. Hooray!

Check out the Mothering Contexts Study HERE!.

If We All Carried Our Baggage Like a Backpack

I wonder if we were all to carry our personal traumas, histories of victimization, harrowing experiences, and private tragedies on our backs visible (yet still invisible) for the world to gaze if this would decrease the separation between us?

Would others be more willing to look past the mistakes we have made? Would people who don't know us be more inclined to wonder about what we might have gone through? Or, would people simply suggest we are making excuses for our behaviour when we pull something out, revealing a layer of the backpack's contents.

I like to view humanity as essentially good. It concerns me, though, how unwilling we are at times to recognize our shared humanity.

Just my thoughts, as directly or indirectly related to motherhood as they are!

Back to School

It is official - it's back to school! While B1 went to grade one last week, B2 started pre-school today and I was back at it teaching yesterday! It's got me to thinking about the dual roles I play as mother and teacher, as teacher and mother. After a four month hiatus there I was showing pictures of my children to another crop of (eager?) students!

I already feel the push/pull, torn between getting together the best lecture for tomorrow and spending time with B1 while he does his homework. The compromise: He sits at the kitchen table, while I work in the study, "We both have to finish our work first, then we can watch the video together." He settles for a "Good job" from across rooms. Meanwhile B2 meanders in and out of each of our work/spaces waiting patiently to learn more about endangered animals in the African wild.

There I was at the library looking for videos to show in my Introductory Sociology class and finding a couple I know my children would enjoy! I borrowed 3 possibly suitable ones for my classes, but previewing those will have to wait.

Soon I'll be cuddling my two sons as we transplant ourselves to Africa!

The Momoir Project

A friend of mine is pursuing a unique writing opportunity called, The Momoir Project. This might be something other moms might find interesting. There are also online classes. Check it out!

Surveys are now trickling in for the Mothering Contexts Study. If you have the interest, time and energy for writing a little about your mothering experiences, I would love to hear from you!

Thanks to everyone!

What are Mommy Blogs For Anyway?

I am beginning to wonder what the purpose of mommy blogs are. Is it merely intrinsic in that we are able to shed layers of our mommy selves and negotiate who we are as mothers for our own purview? Surely there must be some extrinsic value to posting our ramblings to others (known and unknown readers) to see.

If not for readers, why do we not confine our posts to private journals?

I am beginning to wonder how exactly I am going to combine my personal reflections on being a mom (based on my own experience with B1, B2 and DOAD) and my "findings" (analysis, narratives and questions, reflections from) the Mothering Contexts Study

Honestly, I am not quite sure where and when the professional hat comes off and when -or how for that matter - the personal veneer disappears. Can it? Does it? Should it?

I would love to know what the 135 participants in my research feel about these and other questions concerning mothering and our lives in and outside of motherhood.

I would WELCOME feedback from my readers on this. Please do share your thoughts here.

DOAD and I went to see a movie tonight, Julie and Julia, a movie based on a book Julie Powell wrote, based on a blog that my book club read a couple years ago. It really has got me thinking about this sharing of information that occurs on (all but mostly) mommy blog sites.

So, readers .. if you are out there PLEASE SHARE WITH ME your ideas about what you think a mommy blog is for; and in particular, a blog with two contradictory purposes - to ponder my personal and to ponder my professional and all the while attempt to deal with the political!!

And... this is my 100th post! What, really, have I said in 100 posts? Moreover, does it matter more than I said (wrote) it or that someone (presumably) read it?

My Baby is In Grade ONE?

How did that happen? One minute I was expecting a baby, it seems the next (fast forward 6 years, obviously) my son is in school all day without me? Wow!

Pretty intense.

Kind of cool.[I hope he thought so]
How does he act in front of his teacher?
Do the other kids in his class like him? [of course, they MUST have thought he was funny and likable, right?]
What happened at lunch? [He used his manners, right? He wiped off any food that got on his face. The salmon sandwich didn't make his breath stink, right?]
He is so ready.[In so many ways it is grade three work he should be doing... in other ways did he get all he needed from kindergarten?!]
Today his brother said, "I miss him."[So, why were they fighting after school?]
I wondered if I asked too many questions about his day.
I am concerned that I didn't do enough "work" with him this summer. [Am I being too hard on myself?]
Did we do too much fun stuff this summer? [Possible?]

...just a few ramblings on the day

check out the Mothering Contexts Study - if you haven't already!